GoodBye!

Goodbye is something hard to say, especially when you don't really want to say it because that someone to whom you are saying goodbye is the same who is actually making your world goes round!
But sometimes in life, you do not have the choice, when you realise that everything is escaping you, it is better to be the one who makes it stop.
Tonight I did tell him to stop contacting me, not that it is for my good but this story was going nowhere and before falling in total craziness I'd better do something. Maybe I have already fallen, this wouldn't surprise me much, this guy is making me cry or smile in an instant, this is NOT normal.
I don't know anything about love but if this is love well I wish I didn't feel that, ever!
Every time I see him though I just want to say "I love you" but the problem is: I know who are the "I" and the "YOU" but what the f*** is LOVE (oh god I said the F word)!
Right now, after having let down some tears, I feel strange. I wish he would call me to ask me why this sudden reaction (for him, obviously there was nothing going on) but I perfectly know he won't do that. I'm anxious to receive an answer from him, even if I asked him not to do it, he might do, but sincerely I do not want to read him, it will hurt because he won't say what I am hoping him to say. But anyway, what do I want him to say? I do not even know!
The best would be for him to call me, well...the best for me... I love expressing myself and tell what I truly feel but this time I didn't and I do not feel like writing him that, better writing it to myself... (looser!)

Ok now that it is done, I can just watch a movie or try to sleep even if I haven't slept well for weeks now!
I might delete that post soon, I'd better do but let's just leave it there for the night!

My sweet F world!

I just wanted to make some explanations about my blog's tittle!! Not that it matters much but like this I've got something to talk about.

When I say 'my sweet F world', the F doesn't especially mean what people might think at first. Obviously I did think of that too but even if my life can sucks a lot I do appreciate it many times.

It could be the F of:

• Funny
• Fantastic
• Freaky
• Fabulous
• Foolish
• Fervent
• Fake
• Frightfull
• Fabulous
• Funky
• ....And many more...

I guess my life, like people life, is a mix of everything I've just listed. I've got funny days, fantastic ones and f***ing ones too. That's what makes life so unforeseeable.

humm let's see! This will be my first post and I am already unhappy with the way I do it! Great start innit?!
  
I don't even know to whom I'm writing to as I do not especially want people who know me to read it as I feel like making a foul of myself. Let's say I'm talking to myself... well... sounds like I am crazy. Nevermind, lots of people think I am and I do sometimes agree...


As Norbet Platt said: 'The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium. ' I did look for this quote, but it expresses what I think. Writing always meant for me a way to free myself, tell what I am not telling and what I fear to tell and accept. When you write you cannot lie (well, obviously you can), at least, I cannot. Writing is my therapy, we all need kinds of therapy I guess!


I don't want to introduce myself like many people do in their blogs, I might do it with time, but not like my name is.. I'm ..years old... I like... Who cares?


Why blogger.com? I have to blame Anna for that. Anna is one of my dearest friend, even if we do not know each other for long and even if we do not talk everyday, I feel like I could tell her things and she'd be happy to hear me out. ANYWAY! Anna has a blog (a great one, it should be linked somewhere to mine), although her blog is in Sweedish, my language faculties make it more or less easy to understand (Thanks Google translation!). I find Anna's posts interesting and entertaining and I wished to comment them many time but it was kind of difficult and many comments never get there (sorry love) so I decided to create an account and the more I was thinking of her blog the more I was wanting one (I always want what others have). So here I am, trying to carry out my wish! I've got my blog, I am still not sure what I am going to do with it but I guess (and hope) I'll find something interesting to tell.


I know my English is not great and many mistakes are filling my sentences but I love writing in English. I love claiming to whoever wants to listen that I am bilingual (but I am not) and losing the knowledge I had is frustrating me...a lot! Moreover, everything written in English looks GREAT! Maybe it's only me but, for example, I do love English songs, but when I do translate it, then I get disapointed! It feels like you can say whatever you want and as far
as it is in English, it's cool!


Anyway, I should stop writing now and start designing a little bit this thing, as it looks ugly. And as everyone knows, the package is as interesting (and sometimes more) as the content.